Some people come onto this Earth to help others leave it. For twin sisters Deb Tokich and Becky Tokich-Saunders, those people were the nurses at Wellstar Hospice Care at Kennesaw Mountain. These gentle guides supported their beloved mom, Betsy, through her final days with peace, dignity and compassion.
Fate and family
Betsy and Phil Tokich met in college in Akron, Ohio, falling in love as they played clarinet side-by-side in the band. After marrying, they dreamed of having children but struggled to conceive. Not long after they began exploring adoption, they got an unexpected call – would they be interested in adopting twin baby girls?
“They always loved telling the story of how they had to rush out in a snowstorm to buy two of everything,” Becky says with a laugh. “They had about 24 hours to prepare for our arrival!”
From the moment 3-week-old Deb and Becky came home, unconditional love and laughter filled the Tokich house. Phil was a civil engineer and taught Sunday school, while Betsy nurtured the girls’ curiosity as only a former first-grade teacher could. When the family moved to Florida a few years later, their life became an idyllic montage of beach days, Disney trips and poolside adventures.
“We felt it then, and we continued to feel it every day – how lucky we were to have the parents we did,” Deb says. “They taught us to be kind, loving and caring and led by example. We never heard them raise a voice at each other.”
When Phil passed away in 2001, it left a void in their lives. “A part of mom left with him. He was the love of her life,” Becky says. “But we stood by her side, caring for her as she had always done for us.” They became known as the “Tokich gals.” In 2007, Deb and Becky moved Betsy from Florida to Georgia, then to Atlanta in 2021 to be closer to them.
In the summer of 2023, Deb found Betsy collapsed in her apartment. After a few difficult days in the hospital, it became clear that extensive rehabilitation wasn’t an option for the 83-year-old. They turned to palliative care instead.
Fate seemed to intervene. The sisters had picked up a brochure for Wellstar Hospice Care just days before. When Becky initially met with the hospice team, she felt an immediate sense of peace.
“There was a calmness about her,” Deb remembers. “She said, ‘I know exactly where we need to take mom.’”
Finding a home at hospice
Within hours, Betsy was settled into Room 17 – a touch of kismet; “the 17th was our dad’s birthday into Earth and also into heaven,” the sisters say. They knew immediately it was where their mom was meant to be.
“We walked in, and it felt like a small apartment with soft lighting, artwork and touches that made it feel like home,” Deb says. “Mom used to rock us when we were little babies and toddlers, and we looked outside and the first thing you see are two rocking chairs.”
Backed by the beautiful mountains, the gardens and greenery offered a serene retreat for fresh air, reflection or shedding a few tears. Their parents had always enjoyed exploring places like Gatlinburg and the Smoky Mountains; they knew their mom would love it.
Over the next 10 days, the hospice staff enveloped the Tokich gals in compassionate care. The nurses – or “angel friends” as they call them – tended to more than Betsy’s physical needs; they honored her life, asking questions and listening as Deb and Becky shared hours of unforgettable stories and memories.
When talking about their mom’s final days at hospice, the sisters don’t speak of sadness or loss. Instead, their voices are filled with warmth and appreciation.
“Words cannot express the gratitude we have for the angel nurses that work in hospice and treated mom with the utmost respect and care,” Becky says. “They became lifelong friends. The kindness they showed to us, the interest they had in Mom’s life – she mattered to them, and we felt it.”
A circle of giving
In those final days, the sisters discovered that their mom – who had always talked about her love of writing – had secretly penned an entire novel. They also found meticulously organized files, including her end-of-life plans. Betsy’s thoughtful nature was evident even in her final wishes: letting her daughters know she wanted to rest peacefully among the trees, easing their burden during a difficult time.
“Mom passed with dignity, respect and peace,” Deb says, her voice thick with emotion. “We will forever be grateful to hospice for providing that for her.”
They felt compelled to give back, so they made a generous donation to Wellstar Hospice Care in memory of Betsy and Phil. “It was an honor for us to recognize the beautiful lives of our parents and help other families navigate the difficult journey of saying goodbye,” Becky says. “We wanted to ensure that more people could experience the same comfort and care we did during such an emotional time.”
As Deb and Becky prepare for their next adventure – a move to Portugal – their parents’ legacies live on in their warm spirits and the lives their gift to Wellstar Hospice will touch.
In the end, the Tokich family story is one of peace and love coming full circle. Just as Betsy and Phil opened their hearts to welcome two little girls, Wellstar Hospice Care opened their arms to usher a beloved mom home. In life’s most difficult moments, compassion can sometimes be the greatest gift of all.
Are you inspired by the Tokich family’s story of compassionate end-of-life care? Consider giving to Wellstar Hospice Care in honor of a loved one and to support others experiencing loss.